Loving Your Husband

Ever since I chose the title and Scripture for my blog (over a year ago), the part in Scripture that says, "...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children...", has been nagging at me.

All Christian women should obviously know they are to be sober. But, I kept thinking, "How am I suppose to teach the young women to love their husbands and their children"? Wouldn't they already love their husbands? Isn't that the main reason they married them? Doesn't a mother's love for her child begin the moment she knows she is carrying the child in her womb? For a whole year I have been asking myself these questions. It dawned on me one day that if I don't understand something in Scripture, shouldn't I ask God instead of trying to figure it out in my own limited brain? So, I did. It has finally become clear to me and some of you may already know this, but I am writing it for those who don't know.

How to Love Your Husband

Surely you loved him before you married, right? The beginning of your marriage can become difficult when two people have left each of their homes where they learned certain traits and habits and now must learn to combine their lives with one another.

The first time your husband asks you why you are doing something a certain way (or not doing something at all), in a tone that you may not have heard from him before, can cause that feeling of a dart hitting your heart. If you are the type of person to stand your ground and explain to him (in a tone you've never used with him before), I can almost guarantee you will have your first argument and first hurt feelings. This is normal.
If you haven't married yet, it will happen at some point and it is better to be prepared when it does happen.

God specifically laid out in Scripture the way we are to live and IF we abide by his commandments, He will greatly bless us. Do not look around at the world or culture that we live in, because it's advice will not work!!

• Eph 5:22
  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
• Eph 5:23
  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
• Eph 5:24
  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
• Col 3:18
  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
• 1 Peter 3:1
  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
• 1 Peter 3:2
  While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
• 1 Peter 3:3
  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
• 1 Peter 3:4
  But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
• 1 Peter 3:5
  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
• 1 Peter 3:6
  Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Looking at the many Scriptures God gives us, it is plainly evident that wives are to be in subjection to their husbands. This does not mean you become a doormat. God gave women brains, too, so use them! :-) There are so many scenarios of husbands and wives, that it would almost take a book written for each scenario to answer all the questions you may have. I do not mind if you ask me questions, either through email, or a comment about your situation, but I would strongly suggest that you pray and seek God and through His Word and Holy Spirit, He will guide you. The main thing you must remember is that regardless of how your husband is, YOU must obey God's Word and be the wife that God wants you (all of us) to be.

If your husband is choosing to stay with you, most likely he does not have an intent of the heart to hurt you in any way. He is being the man and head of the household as he was made to be. God has instilled certain things in man and certain (different) things in women. This is why we are different! If we obey God's commands and be what He made us to be, we would live in harmony rather than discord.

Most men are going to be loving and kind to a wife that fully shows she supports him in all of his decisions. No, you may not always agree with his decisions, and you can let him know that you disagree. You will have to learn to disagree with him in a loving way. Practice changing the tone of your voice when you disagree. Let him know first of all, that you are going to abide by HIS decision, but that you disagree and let him know your reasons (in a kind way!). Another very important thing for you to remember is NEVER, NEVER, say "I told you so!" if his decision was wrong. Allow him the courtesy of being human. We all make mistakes!

Try to see your husband as God made him. God fully intended for a man to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. God also intended and instilled in your husband to be the leader, protector, and problem solver of your family. Remember that women were made by God to be man's helpmeet. We are his helper. We are his cheerleader. We are to help our husbands to be all they can be. It helps your marriage if you show some interest in your husband's work or hobbies. You don't have to be as knowledgeable about it as he is, but show interest by asking questions. He doesn't intend for you to know as much as he does or be completely absorbed in it as he may be, but it does make him feel better to know that you care about his interests and work. You might be surprised at how much your husband really wants your praise, respect, and interest.

Loving your husband is much, much more than that sweet, cozy feeling you have for him. Loving your husband is letting him be a man, letting him lead, giving him your respect, letting him know that even through tough times you will be by his side. Never get in the habit of saying things like, "I just don't know how much more I can take from you!" or "I'm not sure we're going to make it!", or "We may just have to get a divorce!".

Again, I want to remind you to allow your husband the room to make mistakes and never make fun of his faults. We all have them and no one likes to have their faults thrown in their face. Let him know that you love him no matter what.

I've read where some women say that reading romance novels are wrong, even the Christian ones. The way I see it is the worldly romance novels are wrong as they use foul language and are usually full of fornication. The Christian romance novels are fine, as long as you can realize that they are fiction. There is no such thing as a perfect man. While reading, if you find yourself thinking "I wish my husband would be more like that!", then you probably shouldn't be reading them.

Loving your husband is being wholly committed to him. Look at him as the best man in this whole world. Compliment your husband frequently. NEVER, EVER compliment another man, as this could lead to problems you might never imagine.

So many of us have learned the hard way because no one told us how to behave with our husbands. I wonder why? Anyway, this hopefully will be read and copied and passed on to those you know may need to read it.

I plan to write about loving your children next week.