My Spiritual Journey - Part Two

In part one I discussed how I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior at the age of nine and how I drifted away from Him in my teen years.

As I entered my twenties, I didn't change much. What did change my life was having a baby at the age of 24. The desires of my heart changed as I then wanted to become a stay-at-home mom. My baby had some difficult medical problems after she was born and the doctor did not give us a good report. As they took my baby to prepare her for a complete blood exchange, I was taken to a small room to wait. I cried my heart out to God. I asked His forgiveness for leaving Him behind in my life. I promised Him if He would let my baby live and have a normal, healthy life that I would give her to Him. I would tell her all about Him. I would raise her to always hear His name mentioned in our home, to hear her Mama pray. God heard my pitiful cry! He not only saved my baby's life, but He made her a normal, healthy child. (The doctor told us if she lived, she'd most likely be brain-damaged.) God prevailed!!!!!

I kept my promise. I still was looking for answers as to how to live a holy life before God in this sinful, human body. My daughter had just finished 4th grade in the public school, when I quit work and became a SAHM and homeschooler. Our first day of homeschooling began with prayer and Bible reading. This was the first time I had ever read the entire Bible. I found many answers.

I first found out that faith is given in measures. We begin with a seed and continue to grow if we will feed ourselves on God's Word. I learned also how important it is to pray. Prayer is not just asking God for things, or for help in problems. Prayer is our communication with Him. We need to talk to Him on a daily basis for a closer relationship. If you did not talk to your husband on a daily basis, your relationship would go stagnant. You would have no fulfillment. You would look elsewhere for your needs. This is how my life had been when I quit reading my Bible and praying to God. After getting back to prayer and reading His Word, I soon began feeling happy and joyful in my spirit. I looked forward to my time with Him. I knew he heard me. I began to realize that His Spirit dwelt within me which in turn caused me to want to do what is right. I began to discern between good and evil. I despised sin. I especially didn't want it in my own life. There are always areas that we struggle with, but I also found out that these can be overcome by running to our Father in Heaven first. If He is kept foremost in our minds on a daily basis, we cannot help but become like Him. This is our goal and race. We are here to learn lessons and to develop our spirits to become like Jesus. He is our ultimate example.

I have always had to deal with a quick temper, impatience, etc. etc...... I absolutely refuse to let my flesh rule over me. I have a greater power within that I can draw from. We all need to realize this and not give in to fleshly desires. I admit that there are times that my flesh wins. But I will win this war with Jesus Christ's help. I do not intend to turn away from Him. He has always been there for me and I know this now. He will not leave me nor forsake me. I must cling to Him. He is my lifeline. He is your lifeline. Don't fall prey to saying "Well, this is just how I am, I can't help it!" You can too! You have a Heavenly Father that you can call upon for help. He is fully able to help you overcome your flesh. God would not give us rules to live by unless it were possible for us to fulfill them. Jesus proved it when he lived on this earth as a man. He had a close relationship with the Father in Heaven. We, too, can have this same relationship.

If you are new in your relationship with God, it would help you greatly to take a look at the people you befriend. You should surround yourself with other Christians and give yourself time to grow spiritually before you are strong enough to befriend those that you once knew. I have people that I am friendly with, but I do not go to the same places they might go. I am trying to set an example to them that I love them, but I will not be like them. I want to show them Christ's love for them. My daily prayer is for others to see Christ in me. I want people to see less of me and more of Jesus. No matter how I feel when I go out in public, I am always concious of smiling at people. Some smile back, some look straight through you, some look at you as if to say, "What are you smiling about?!" I've even had some to really give me an ugly look. I pray for them, for they are so unhappy. Sure, I make mistakes, but I won't let it keep me from trying harder next time. The Holy Spirit will nudge you and let you know if you have hurt someone's feelings or done something wrong. If you are in tune, you will hear this right away and make it right so that there will be nothing between you and God. God would not tell us to "be holy for I Am Holy", if it were not possible. Let us strive for perfection. Let's win this race. It's not over or finished until we are called home. I want to hear Him say to me, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant".

I urge you to never give up on the Lord. Never quit reading your Bible. All of life's answers can be found in God's Word. We are to go through it as if we were searching for buried treasure. His Word excites me because I always find something new no matter how many times I read it through. He has NEVER failed me, and I know that He never will.